Closing Google+ to cause untold distress to its remaining three users

author avatar by 6 years ago

Google has announced it is to close it’s Google+ social network, to the utter dismay of the three people still regularly using it.

Following a recent data breach, Google says it will be closing the doors on its social network as a precaution against further breaches, and not because it’s about a popular as a Brett Kavanaugh pool party.

A Google exec explained, “We are sad to be closing Google+, but it’s the responsible move to take given the implications for personal data in the new world of GDPR.  It has nothing to do with the popularity of the platform, which some people definitely really love.

“Yes, they do. Shut up.”

Google+ user Simon Williams said he was bereft at the thought of losing his Google+ account, and the personal connections he’s made using it over the last few years.

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He went on, “As other people dipped in and then disappeared, the three of us still on there have become like family.

“It’s a bit like a Whatsapp group for the three of us still on there; we can share updates and photos, safe in the knowledge the only people who’ll actually see them are the other two users.

“Sure, I get that a lot of people didn’t really take to it – and that the whole idea of ‘circles’ was a bit baffling to most users – but honestly, I can’t understand why so many of you are still using Facebook.  It’s almost like humanity is too lazy to try something else.”

One of the other remaining users, Sharon Matthews, told us, “I didn’t have the heart to tell Simon, but I stopped using it in July.”