Your friend on Facebook Live has been wittering on for long enough to occupy a feature-length film.
Simon Williams, 27, started streaming a live video from his bedroom by uttering the phrase “Hey guys, just a bit bored, thought I’d share my thoughts…” and has now been blathering on about many disparate, unconnected subjects for far too long.
“Jesus, now he’s telling a story about a guy he met who thought he had magic powers,” sighed your other friend, Hayley Rice.
“I bet you a fiver this story has no point or punchline and it just tails off before he moves onto something equally banal in a moment or two.
“…ah, I’ve won a fiver. God he’s so boring. I don’t know why I’ve been watching this for the last two hours. Why am I doing this to myself? I must be even more boring than he is.”
Williams himself insisted that he was using technology to connect to the people he cares for and to tell them, in great detail, about all the things currently whirring around in his brain.
He went on, “I just figured this stuff was interesting to me so therefore it would definitely be interesting to a wider audience of the people I’m friends with on Facebook.
“The whole world would love to hear about how I left the house with only one shoe on the other day. Do you want to hear about it? Basically, I accidentally left the house with only one shoe on, and… well…that was kind of the whole story, but it was MENTAL.”