A woman’s job would be greatly improved by several Golden Retriever puppies, she has confirmed today.
Bosses asked Accounts Receivable Administrator Simone Williams what they could do to make her job better, and after some thought, she concluded that having a bunch of happy, waggy puppies in the office for her to make a fuss of would be great.
“Really, what I’m looking for in my workplace is a friendly, dynamic team with career progression opportunities, and a bunch of lovely small doggos who just want to be friends and play with me all afternoon,” she said.
“Whilst I very much appreciate that the end-of-year returns have to be concluded, I think that lying on the floor with a puppy wagging its tail as I stroked its ears would dramatically improve both my own personal job satisfaction, but also staff retention.
“Last year someone said staff morale could be improved by spunking two-grand on a massive Italian chromed coffee machine – but I’m still sat here miserable, so maybe it’s time to try something else.
“Really, I think that some happy barking and three, maybe four, delightful baby animals just falling over a lot and looking at me with their big, soft brown eyes full of love whilst I’m completing the tax returns would make the day fly by.”
When asked, Simone’s boss said he’d been expecting her to say she’d like a pay rise or a maybe new chair, but acknowledged that he did ask so couldn’t really complain about getting an honest answer.