Donald Trump to nominate ‘fine man’ Bill Cosby to Supreme Court

author avatar by 6 years ago

Donald Trump, who remains the actual President of the United States despite everything, has announced that he will be nominating TV comedian and convicted sex-offender Bill Cosby for a seat on the US Supreme Court.

The news comes in the wake of him nominating Brett Kavanaugh, an accused sex-offender, to the Supreme Court which would seem to indicate that Trump is looking to shore up a sex-offender majority on the Supreme Court that will see it sympathetic to any high-profile sex-offence cases that may or may not take place in the coming years.

“Bill Cosby is a fine man, a very fine man,” said Mr Trump.

“He has been through a really very bad ordeal that, you know what? I’d bet was set up by the Democrats.

“But you know, he’s got a whole lot of legal experience now and he knows what it’s like to suffer being accused of a bunch of sex-crimes by Democrat women, so I think he’s just the kind of man we need on the Bench.”

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After an aide explained that Bill Cosby was black, Trump could be heard exclaiming ‘black? Jesus f**k. Well, I guess it’ll be worth it and I can always wear gloves if I have to shake his hand’.

It is thought that to further increase the majority of sex-offenders on the Supreme Court Trump will seek to appoint Roman Polanski, Rolf Harris, and that swimmer who raped a girl then tried to claim he shouldn’t go to prison because he was a good swimmer.