Wednesday 26 September 2018 by Arabin Patson

Donald Trump to become opening act for Louis CK


Donald Trump to open for Louis CK

After a hilarious performance at the UN General Assembly, the US President has said he would take time off his busy golfing schedule and become a support act of the troubled comedian, due to their shared musings about life’s frustrations and borderline criminal behaviour towards women.

Simon Williams, a stand-up critic at the New Yorker magazine, said the match was unorthodox but reflective of a new age.

He told us, “If Trump has done anything, it’s to shatter the image of a US president as an aloof statesman full of gravitas.

“He is a man who likes to engage with people on an emotional, not intellectual, level. As he showed us when he had the whole UN guffawing with laughter at the mere mention of his ‘achievements’.

“Pairing him with Louis CK is also a stroke of genius. We are now in a post #MeToo phase, where redemption can be had with a half-assed confession or by having a cretinous fan base who thinks rape is an unavoidable part of a man’s youth.”

Asked what the public could expect from a Trump/Louis CK roadshow, Mr Williams said their differences would compliment each other.

He went on, “Donald is very deadpan. More like a British comedian. He’ll say crazy shit like there is no collusion or that his daughter has a fine ass and just lets it hang there.

“Whereas Louis likes a no holds barred analysis of our little foibles. Like the way you obsess about taking regular shits when you get older or how the terrified intern reminds you of your own kids when you masturbate in front of her in a locked room.

“Something I’m sure Donald knows all about.”

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