Donald Trump wakes up, yawns and prepares for another fine day of blaming sexual assault victims

author avatar by 6 years ago

Donald Trump up and about and is raring to get going on another 24 hours of dismissing the testimony of sexual assault victims out of hand.

Having rolled out such classic rape-apologist lines such as “why did nobody call the FBI 36 years ago?”, “[name of sex pest] is a fine man” and “if the attack on [assault victim] was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed” (these are all actual quotes from the President of the United States of America, why didn’t you make up any exaggerated joke statements? – Ed), Donald Trump is today wondering how else he can ensure that the rape conviction count gets even lower.

“These broads are imagining things, folks,” declared the President.

“Why don’t these women come forward at the time so that we can call them liars and sluts and publicly question their integrity in a more timely manner? It’s weird, folks, it really is.

“What? No, I don’t think my reaction is the answer to my own question. I don’t even know what means.

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“Brett Kavanaugh is a fine man, he really is, ask anyone – no, not the women he might have shown a good time that was taken the wrong way though, those women are not to be trusted; but only because they’re saying bad things about someone I like.”

Journalist, Simon Williams, said, “None of us is surprised to hear this, which would be the saddest thing of all if not for the fact that Donald Trump has a couple of daughters.”