Siberian military exercises “secretly an enormous Russian Furry convention”

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NATO experts reviewing the latest satellite images of recent Russian military exercises have been startled by what appears to be the world’s largest Furry convention.

“We were taken aback, to say the least,” admitted top Kremlinologist Simon Williams.

“If not downright freaked out and in some cases outright traumatised.”

He went on. “The official version from Russia indicated that ‘Vostok 2018’ was going to be nothing more than a large scale, somewhat sabre-rattling exercise, consisting of tank manoeuvres, armoured personnel carriers, big trucks with missiles on them, that sort of thing.

“Plus large numbers of men running round in the woods.

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“They got that part right at any rate,” he added, numbly. “But nobody mentioned they’d be dressed like Sylvester the Cat in leather hot pants.”

The Kremlin refused to categorically deny the drone-footage evidence of thousands of gaudily-coloured cartoon anthropomorphised animals, but insisted the large-scale drills were nothing more than ‘role-playing’ and ‘healthy, manly activity’.

“Vladimir Putin has long identified with the Russian Bear,” it added.

“He’s even got the costume! Oh, damnski.”