Sweden unveils new tolerant, laid-back kind of fascist

author avatar by 5 years ago

Sweden’s elections have revealed a significant percentage of the country’s voters are chilled-out, sexy, far-right extremists.

With the Sweden Democrats seizing nearly twenty per cent of the vote, statisticians were quick to point out that means almost a quarter of ABBA.

The stomach-churning lurch to the right now means that an average team of ten Stockholm-based workers, industriously assembling an Ektorp wardrobe, probably contains at least two Hitler-fanatics.

And fans of IKEA furniture are eagerly awaiting their new range of coffee tables which, when viewed from a certain angle, resemble a tasteful, value-for-money swastika.

In the face of growing anti-Islamic sentiment, there are fears that the Land of the Midnight Sun could be entirely devoid of Hal-al style meatballs in a reduced tomato sauce as early as 2026.

The SD party has recently repositioned itself to grab a larger share of the middle-class vote and recently changed its emblem from a Volvo colliding with a Muslim to a yellow and blue daisy.

Swedish centre-left politician, Søren Williamson, said, “Getting back to the whole ABBA thing, because there is definitely some more mileage in such a laboured analogy, this political earthquake indicates that if ABBA – or an ABBA-type group – were still writing chart-topping hits today, they would definitely go something along the lines of Thank You for the Music, Now Fuck Off Out of My Country.

“Alternatively, it is not improbable to envisage people dancing to hits like Danzig Queen or Gimme Gimme Gimme a Thousand-Year Reich.

“Also, they would definitely not be popular, gay icons.”

Williamson, however, refused to be drawn on which member of the vigorously-pursuing-a-rampantly-heterosexual-agenda-supergroup could be a crypto-fascist.

Fellow Swede and permanently drunk, suicidal malcontent, Niels Wallander, said, “My money’s on the blonde.”