Saudi Arabian government are ‘totally awesome, lovely people’ declare nervous satirists

author avatar by 5 years ago

With satirists now facing potential jail time in Saudi Arabia for making a few pointed jokes, online comedy writers around the world have been quick to praise the Saudi Arabian government.

Simon Williams, a part-time dandruff shampoo salesman and occasional contributor to pathetic leftie liberal site NewsThump told reporters, “We have always held the Saudi government in the highest esteem at NewsThump, because, well, they are just the nicest people, aren’t they?

“We’d never think to write articles about their systemic bombing of children in Syria, nor their crippling oppression of women, nor their constant persecution of their LGBT citizens, because these are probably just malicious rumours, I’d imagine.

“We certainly wouldn’t make a joke about the Saudi Chair of a Human Rights Panel being late for his first meeting because he had to attend an exclusive black tie beheading. And who could blame him, the catering at those things is always phenomenal.

“The reason we wouldn’t do any of those things is that the Saudi regime would be totally undeserving of it. Satire should punch upward, so how can you claim a bunch of oppressive multibillionaires are anything other than innocent victims of wicked comedy writers.”

Laughing nervously he added, “The Saudis are good folks. Definitely. Especially when you consider the amount of trade they give us in terms of buying bombs from us, and well, our government wouldn’t deal with wrong’uns, would they?”

Simon failed to clock into work at the NewsThump offices this morning, but we’re sure that has nothing to do with his statement.