Tuesday 28 August 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Office workers universally disappointed to learn that fire alarm is just a drill


Fire Drill a disappointment

Some employees are a bit miffed that their place of work hasn’t actually burnt down in the slightest.

The fire alarm at Gibson & Prick sounded at 2:30pm this afternoon, leading to an instinctive cheer across the office as employees momentarily shared the same fantasy of being allowed to work from home while the smouldering remnants of the office building were cleared away and rebuilt.

“But no, life isn’t that kind,” sighed Sales Associate, Simon Williams, removing his modestly-priced suit jacket and returning to his seat in front of a spreadsheet full of bollocks.

“I knew it was too good to be true the moment that prick in the high-vis vest rocked up with a smile saying ‘well done, everyone!’ rather than an ashen expression of panic and despair when he realises Wheelchair Tom got left behind in the confusion.

“Eh? Oh, no I don’t think he minds being called Wheelchair Tom, although I haven’t asked him, he doesn’t seem to like me for some reason.

“Anyway, we were all out and then back in again in five minutes. Couldn’t even squeeze a cigarette out of the whole thing.”

Office manager, Hayley Rice, was also left disappointed by the false alarm, tellin us, “They’re such teasers, exciting us all by letting the alarm go off like that without an actual fire.

“I will often sit back in the bath with a glass of Prosecco while enjoying the fantasy of this place burning to the ground.”

“I guess dreams don’t really come true after all.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: