Manchester United strop-monkey Jose Mourinho has hit out at his board for failing to invest in a new manager over the summer.
Following last week’s embarrassing and yet also hilarious 3-2 loss to Brighton and Hove Albion, and last night’s 3-0 home defeat to Tottenham, Mourinho has launched into a series of furious attacks on players, officials, fans, his family, random people in the street, the man who cuts his hair, and the Arctic Monkeys for the state of that last album.
His lengthy tantrum culminated in an attack on the board for failing to invest in a new manager.
“The drive for success comes from the very top. It is impossible for this team to do well without support from the board,” mumbled the Portuguese, in a press conference shortly after his team had their arses handed to them by Spurs.
“We clearly need new manager. It is obvious to you. It is obvious to me. It is obvious to everyone. Yet they do not invest in a new manager, and so I have to work in this situation.
“It is not good, but I do not complain. Except when I complain, and that is because I should complain because I need to complain. But the board do not listen.
“We do need a new manager and that is fact. But I do my best to work to the best I can.”
It is understood that Jose’s complaints are the first things the fans have agreed with him about since the beginning of his tenure.