EU citizens have sought clarification on Dominic Raab’s announcement that EU citizens currently resident in Britain will be allowed to stay following Brexit.
There is concern amongst these people that staying in Britain might become mandatory once he nation realises the trouble they’ll be in without them.
“Look, don’t get me wrong, it’s a very sweet gesture,” said Tsimon Williamsz, a Polish man currently resident in London while he works in one of our hospitals helping sick people get around all day.
“But stay here? After Brexit? Are you people crazy?
“You’d have to be mentally deficient to want to cut yourself off from a free and open Europe where you can travel where you like and live and work anywhere.
“No offence, obviously.”
The worry amongst the EU citizens is that if they aren’t able to leave the country after Brexit, they may all turn into awful old men who look like meat and shout angrily about things they don’t understand.
“I watch your Question Time,” continued Mr Williamsz.
“I see the old men shouting, I do not want to become them. No human being’s face should become that colour through anger. It’s not natural. I see plenty of people that colour at the hospital. It never ends well.”
However, whilst there is concern amongst EU citizens regarding the announcement, there is no panic yet.
“No, I’d like clarification, but I’m not overly worried about it yet,” said Mr Williamsz.
“I mean, it’s just a senior Tory saying something about Brexit.
“Obviously they’ll be saying the polar opposite again come the weekend.”