Melania Trump has fled the White House.
Following revelations that President Trump may have requested misuse of campaign funds, the First Lady and her lover took immediate advantage of the situation and escaped under cover of darkness.
In a scene straight out of a bad/every Richard Curtis movie, the First Lady was woken by stones being thrown at the window of her bedroom; on the other side of the White House from President Trump.
Waiting below was dashing and handsome Air Force One pilot, Hank McWilliams, holding up a sign saying “let’s go, now”.
“We caught it all on the security cameras,” confirmed White House security officer, Jay Cooper.
“We would have stopped it but we’ve never seen Melania looking excited and happy before; we were just transfixed as she climbed down the bedsheets out the window and fell into his arms.
“Then he carried her out to a waiting helicopter which he flew himself, the handsome prick.
“Normally I think the President might be a bit upset but he seems pre-occupied at the moment.”
President Trump commented, “who’s Melania?” while trying to remember how to spell the word “resignation”.