Man who gets all of his news from YouTube commentators reckons he’s pretty hot shit

author avatar by 6 years ago

A man who only watches unqualified journalists as his main source of information about the world reckons his opinions are better than yours as a result.

Simon Williams, 29, swears off the BBC six o’clock news as it’s “too mainstream and aligned to corporate interests”, despite the fact the people he’s watching on YouTube usually have subscribers in the millions and depend on advertising to make money.

“Nah, I don’t follow any of that mainstream bullshit,” confirmed Williams.

“I get my news – and also my opinions, rhetoric and personality – from someone who has never studied journalism or ever been good enough at it to garner interest from actual news outlets. It’s the only way to ensure you’re getting the truth.

“It’s much more honest to watch someone who isn’t bound by any kind of code of ethics and is entirely free to give a wholly subjective take on a subject – even to the point of lying. That’s real news.

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“You normies can stick to your so-called news written by people who have worked hard for the privilege of doing so while being bound by cuck concepts such as ‘ethics’ or ‘objectivity’ – enjoy the fairytales they’re telling you.

“While your brain is being turned into mush, I will be over here watching some white guy explain why racism is a myth and feminism is cancer, all while he tries to sell me his latest brand of brain pills that stop me becoming woke.”

Simon’s girlfriend said, “Oh, me? No, I am entirely fictional.”

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