A man’s line manager insists on taking work very seriously and displays a total lack of appreciation of how pointless and without consequence it all is.
Accountant Simon Williams conscientiously turns up to work nearly every day but simply doesn’t share his boss’ enthusiasm for senseless bureaucracy.
“Look, I’m quite happy to do my work to an adequate standard between the hours of nine and five,” he said, “but there’s literally no point in going above and beyond the call of duty to do a really special job.”
Simon’s boss Gary often says things like, “Thanks for preparing those slides Simon but do you think we can merge rows seven and eight and maybe go with pastels instead of primary colours? And the narrative should probably be in Calibri rather than Ariel.”
“Oh my god, it doesn’t matter!” said a despairing Simon. “It’s not the fucking Sistine Chapel.
“Can I address the elephant in the room? Nobody apart from us is ever going to look at this report! The marginal effect on the readability of the tables is utterly irrelevant. Gary must realise this, he’s not stupid.
“Yes, I get that technically we need to do it for audit purposes or whatever, but let’s not pretend that we’re making something of lasting value to mankind here.
“Why can’t he accept that the whole of our department is a host of paper-pushing parasites living off the creativity and flair of people with actual talent?
“Let’s just appreciate that we’re on to a good thing – we have decent jobs, that pay well enough all things considered, and nothing bad is likely to happen to us if we’re occasionally a bit shit.”
Simon decided to finally tell Gary a few home truths, “Yeah, great idea – I’ll get right on it!” he said.