Jeremy Corbyn denies links to Dick Dastardly

author avatar by 6 years ago

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has today denied links to well-known scoundrel and bad egg Dick Dastardly, after photographs emerged of the two sharing a car.

Dastardly, described as a double-dealing do-badder, is on record as being willing to nab, jab, stab and grab to achieve his objectives, and is widely regarded as being a pariah in political circles for his extremist views.

In 2007 he was named as a war crimes suspect for activities during his time with the notorious Vulture Squadron.

Pictures published appear to show the two men in the same car shortly after Dastardly was accused of using a huge box labelled “TNT” to knock the Ant Hill Mob out of the Indianapolis 500.

“Jeremy may have shared a car with Dastardly, but as an MP he shares cars with a lot of people and doesn’t always know who they are,” we were told.

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“How was he to know that a cackling, moustache-twirling man might not be one hundred per cent nice? These accusations are completely unreasonable.

“This in no way should be taken as condoning Dastardly’s position on using two giant slabs of concrete to kill Yankee Doodle Pigeon, and instead Corbyn was attempting to persuade the Wacky Racers to share the trophy on a fair basis rather than squabbling over it.

“Anyway, Jeremy would be much happier in the Arkansas Chuggabug with Blubber Bear – or Tom Watson as he’s better known these days.”

Critics have rejected the denial, suggesting that Corbyn’s failure to question whether the driver of a bright purple heavily-armed rocket car was an appropriate contact for someone seeking high office calls his judgement into question.

Dastardly was described as a petty and spiteful demagogue who uses overly florid language and is happy to use people to achieve his aims, and it’s only one step from him to associating with Russell Brand.