Thursday 16 August 2018 by Pete Redfern

Heatwave reveals hidden map of England’s medieval dogging sites


drought reveals dogging sites

Britain’s recent heatwave has left archaeologists with a new insight into the deviant sex lives of their forefathers.

The continual dry weather for a lengthy period has allowed aerial archaeologists to visualise with a greater level of accuracy than ever before the layouts of field boundaries, walls, ditches, and strange places where inhabitants would gather in the woodland.

Archaeologist Simon Williams told us, “This heatwave has provided the perfect conditions to see ancient crop marks and buildings due to the lack of moisture in the soil – which means we can scan further under the surface to see what may have been going on.

“We have discovered field boundaries, places of worship, entire villages, and more curiously, a number of what we presume are popular dogging spots.

“These are areas, normally located just on the edge of woodland and a short horse and cart ride from the nearest byway, where locals evidently gathered in the dead of night to watch other members of the community going at it like rabbits.”

He went on to explain the rationale behind classifying the dogging sites, telling us, “Given the number of predators and the inherent danger of venturing outside the village compound at night, we can only assume that the reason for the nocturnal woodland gatherings of some members of the townsfolk was to give in to their most base carnal desires with their fellow settlers’ wives.

“And judging by the number of horse and cart parking spaces in the clearings, it was quite a popular activity.”

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