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Far-right group Britain First have claimed that paedophiles inside the Catholic church are much better than the Muslim ones.
The ultranationalist party, who recently marched through Rochdale in protest against non-Christian paedophiles, also insisted that Muslim grooming gangs are seriously damaging the prospects of our own indigenous nonces.
“They’re finding it increasingly difficult to compete,” lamented Britain First leader Paul Golding.
“Traditional tools upon which decent British paedophiles have relied, such as sweets, lost puppies and BBC studio tours have been replaced by high-performance vehicles, alcohol and drugs.
“If we’re not careful, the endearing image of a bearded man with a carrier bag full of Sherbet Dip Dabs will disappear from our school playing fields forever.”
Golding believes that spreading the word via social media could help save our hard-working nonces from the paedo scrapheap.
“If your Twitter or Facebook profiles contain the words ‘patriot’ or ‘truth’ then there’s much you can do,” he explained.
“Remind your followers and friends that British paedos, even the ones that have moved abroad, are every bit as capable as foreign paedos.
“We can’t let British sex offenders suffer the same fate as the British car industry.”
Frontline paedophile truth-teller Tommy Robinson is also expected to be reporting from the Vatican in the coming hours, keen to further enhance his reputation for exposing religious people who like to touch kids.
Robinson follower Simon Williams told us, “Wherever children are being abused by religious fanatics, Tommy is always there to tell his followers all about it.
“Yes, he’s quiet, but it’s probably only because the reception in Rome is a bit shit.”
