Wednesday 15 August 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Boris Johnson calls for ban on Ford Fiestas


Boris calls for ban on Ford Fiestas

Former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson is at it again with his latest solution to the nation’s ills.

Following an unbelievably rubbish “terror attack” on the Houses of Parliament in which a man drove a Ford Fiesta and damaged little but his insurance premiums in the process, the blonde bastard of British politics weighed in with his latest mad idea.

“RUFF-RAHH!” declared Boris Johnson.

“It seems to me, following the recent terrorist incident, that people in Ford Fiestas pose a viable security threat and therefore it’s reasonable to suggest they should be banned.

“Who’s driving that car? Who’s behind the wheel? There’s just no way of knowing. It could be a man, a woman, just about anybody.

“People in Ford Fiestas look utterly ridiculous anyway. I mean why on earth would you go out in one? It boggles the mind. They look like MyHermes delivery drivers.”

Other road users have backed the calls, with Simon Williams telling us, “Too right, it’s about time someone said what we’re all thinking – that Ford Fiestas are a joke. I don’t care how important it is to you – the rest of us think they’re hilarious, and should be free to say so!  Well done Boris!”

Ford Fiesta driver, Jay Cooper, said, “It’s absolutely not fair for Mr Johnson to tar Ford Fiesta drivers – many of whom are peaceful people – with the same brush.

“I have never tried to hit any people with my car – apart from my ex-wife, and truth be told I don’t think she’s really a person.”

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