Mark Zuckerberg hospitalised after dangerously prolonged laughing fit following ICO fine

author avatar by 5 years ago

One of Silicon Valley’s most illustrious entrepreneurs suffered a collapsed lung and two fractured ribs after the announcement of the Information Commissioner’s Office fine of £500K led the billionaire to collapse on the floor in a fit of prolonged hysterical laughter.

The ICO was attempting to punish the dominant social media company for wholesale data theft, invasion of privacy and being complicit in election tampering but only imposed a fine of 0.001% of the company’s worth.

The accident led some to warn that fining a 50 billion dollar company a sum smaller than their annual budget for urinal cakes might eventually lead to casualties.

Simon Williams, business editor of Wired magazine, said that the ICO was probably well-meaning but that their risible sanctions could endanger Internet moguls.

“In terms of what they did and what they were fined, it’s the same as if you crashed your car into someone’s living room and were only fined the few coins you keep in the ashtray for using in shopping trolleys.

“It’s utterly pointless and you can be certain Facebook made much, much more money from flogging your personal data to dodgy political manipulators.

“But the hilarity of it could cause these key players to be incapacitated. The knock-on effects on the global economy would be disastrous.”‘

Mr Williams was reluctant to express an opinion on whether the paltry fine should be increased or dismissed as tokenism.

“One the one hand, we do have to ensure the democratic process is protected from rapacious tech companies who only respect profit margins.

“On the other hand, what kind of fuckwit changes their vote because of something they saw on Facebook?”