Man secretly practising ‘Two world wars and two world cups’ when he thinks nobody is listening

author avatar by 5 years ago

Local man Simon Williams has told friends the England team are going to blow it and have ‘no chance’, but it’s a different story when nobody is listening.

Simon, who has felt a guttering flame of hope in his heart he thought long dead, has kept it a secret for fear of disappointment once again.

Instead, he has made sure everyone knows he thinks the England team are ‘too young’ and lack creativity on the pitch, and they’ve had a good run but haven’t got what it takes to go all the way.

“Tell you what,” he said to his nodding friends. “They’ll be real contenders in 2020 when they’ve got a few years more experience under their belt.”

However, standing in front of the toilet mirror a few minutes later it was a very different story.

Gazing at his own reflection for a few moments he could see a faint glimmer of actual, real hope in his eyes for the first time in a lifetime.

”Doo dah, doo dah”, he whispered, too quiet to be heard.

“Doo dah.”