Brexiters and Remainers united in belief that Theresa May’s new Brexit plan is bullshit

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For the first time in over two years, it seems that Brexiters and Remainers are united behind a belief that the new plan for Brexit, as ‘agreed’ upon at a Chequers awayday on Friday, is total bullshit.

Families and friends who had seen their relationships riven by Brexit are now, once again, finding a common ground in agreement that ‘continued harmonisation’ with EU rules and ‘co-operative arrangements’ over competition regulations are nothing more than a tower of bullshit.

“It’s actually been really nice,” said leaf-aligner and Brexit supporter Simon Williams.

“Me and my daughter, it’s not like we haven’t spoken in the last few years, but it’s been strained, you know? I voted out and she voted in and there’s been this divide that’s always there.

“But when we were having breakfast together on Sunday and started talking about what Theresa May had come up with and we were just laughing together over how bullshit the plan actually is. We’re both happy to say publicly that we think it’s awful

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“There was just this closeness there that we haven’t had for a while now. Thank you, Theresa.”

It is thought that even in the Cabinet, Remainers and Brexiters found some harmony over the bullshit nature of the plans with Brexiter Boris Johnson seen laughing as Remainer Phillip Hammond made the ‘wanker’ sign whilst Theresa May was explaining her position.

It is expected that this new-found unity could last for as long as Mrs May remains as Prime Minister, which means it could go on until at least next Thursday.

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