President Trump has revealed that the ‘space force’ which he has instructed the Department of Defense to create will operate from a massive spherical space station, capable of destroying an entire planet.
Addressing White House reporters yesterday the reality TV star proclaimed, “The Space Force will provide a whole new level of defence for America, and to a lesser extent the other countries on our planet, and will lay down the space law so other species know not to mess with us.
“Especially the Space Mexicans. They’re the worst. Terrible aliens, terrible. It’s never the good ones that want to come here.”
He added,”I think we will build a giant spherical space station, which will look at first glance like a moon, but trust me – it’s no moon.
“It will be capable of destroying any planets that threaten me – ahem, the human race – and will be staffed by troopers in space. Space troopers.
“In terms of a name, I was thinking ‘doom star’ or ‘death moon’. Those are pretty catchy names.
“No, actually, wait – Doom Moon is better. Yes, that’s the one.”
Republican voters have welcomed the move, with Chuck Williams telling us, “I couldn’t be happier, it’s about time the President did something about the rebel scum.
“Thankfully the power of the dark side is strong within Donald Trump, as you will all come to realise, in time.”
Construction on the Doom Moon is expected to begin as soon as the Republican Party frees up resources currently busy snatching immigrant children away from their ‘rebel’ parents.