Exclusive: England apparently once won the World Cup

author avatar by 6 years ago

On the day that the World Cup kicks off in Russia, NewsThump can exclusively reveal a little-known World Cup fact – England has actually won the tournament.

The news is set to rock football fans throughout the country who will be unaware that 52 years ago, a footballer called Geoff Hurst scored the winning goal to ensure England beat West Germany in the World Cup final, and questions will certainly be asked of the mainstream press as to why they never reference this momentous occasion.

“We won the World Cup? Us? England? Are you sure?” said incredulous England fan Simon Williams, resplendent in a suit made entirely from Union Jack flags.

“But, this is incredible, why does no-one ever talk about it?

“I mean, alright, it was over 50 years and we’d look a little silly if we kept referencing it in triumphalist tones whenever any international tournament came around, but the occasional mention would be fine, surely?

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“Honestly, our newspapers can be so modest at times, bless them.”

Coming Soon: NewsThump exclusively reveals that an Argentina player called Diego Maradona once used his hand – which is against the rules – to knock the ball into the net, thus eliminating England from the World Cup competition.