French Champagne producers announce thousands of job losses in wake of Wetherspoons plan to buy British

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Wine producers in the Champagne region of France have announced massive layoff this morning, after learning that Wetherspoons will no longer by buying their product, in favour of British sparkling wine.

The UK pub chain said it would no longer be sourcing drinks from inside the EU as it prepares for Brexit, insisting the English fizzy stuff is “just as good” and definitely more “Brexit friendly”.

However, the move is expected to decimate champagne producers across northern France, who rely heavily on Wetherspoons customers quaffing enormous quantities of their sparkling wine to stay in business.

As one producer told us, “When people think of Wetherspoons, they think of the quintessential Englishman enjoying a sparkling glass of France’s finest champagne, perhaps with a cucumber sandwich, or a strawberry punnet.

“It’s such a shame that his traditional image of the Wetherspoons customer will become a thing of the past, and that in turn, we will have to let so many workers go as a result.

“To be honest, our biggest concern is that people will now try British sparkling wine and realise how vastly superior it is to our own product, which over time will lead to the ultimate demise of our industry and the emergence of the UK as the world’s leading wine region.

“Yes, really.”

However, many pub goers have said the move by Wetherspoons is unlikely to actually have much impact on the Champagne industry.

Simon Williams told us, “Honestly, this is Wetherspoons we’re talking about, you could put a bottle of Blue Nun through a Soda Stream and most of their customers would think it was Champagne.”