The Russian government has today made a bold statement to prove to the West that it welcomes people from all walks of life without killing them, by announcing that it will decorate the Kremlin as a ‘celebration of homosexuality’ for the duration of the World Cup.
Government spokesman Simone Williski told us today that this would not be the only gesture to show how misunderstood the former USSR is.
“It is true that the Kremlin will be decorated in rainbow colours with feathery banners stretched between the spires spelling out the word ‘PRIDE’. In addition, we will be transforming Red Square into a Pink Triangle so that all of the gay boys can see we respect them.
“We have also asked one of our toughest bar owners, Sergei Kalashnikov, to wear a lady dress and call himself Barbara. We are making all of the efforts and you can now see that we have been unfairly judged.”
To mark the opening of the newly decorated building, there will be a military parade, with tanks also painted in the colours of the Pride movement, followed by a soldiers marching along a specially created yellow brick road in leather shorts and black string vests, carrying large sex toys instead of guns and singing a special rendition of ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’.