White House promises action as ‘crazy loner’ slays dozens of school kids with ‘feckless c*nts’ insult

author avatar by 5 years ago

The Trump administration has insisted it is time for a policy change after a trenchcoat-wearing loner was able to wander around a school attacking innocent schoolkids by calling them ‘feckless cunts’.

The attack, at a High School in Arizona, was only brought to an end after the loner left the building to go home again.

On hearing the news, Trump officials leapt into action, insisting such atrocities cannot go without strong action from the White House.

Press Secretary Sara Sanders told the press, “Our children need protecting, and for too long we as a nation have stood idly by and let people call them the sort of names that can ruin lives. There is no weapon on earth that can do as much harm as a well targetted verbal barb. No there isn’t, shut up.

“Let it be known that this White House can not, and will not, stand idly by and watch such deadly profanity go unchallenged – no matter how accurate those obscenities might be.”

However, the powerful profanity lobby, backed by the wealthy National Swearing Association, have announced they will fight any attempts by the government to curtail their right to ‘call a cunt a cunt’.

Spokesswearer Chuck Williams told us, “If the White House wants to take away our swear words, those cocksuckers will have to prise them from our cold motherfucking dead fingers.

“If they really want to make sure students are safe, they should ensure every child in America knows how to throw a verbal jab or two.

“Or just give them guns.”