An IT department has brought in a series of revolutionary, streamlined processes that, it claims, will be able to deny user requests in record time.
A combination of new software, staff training and a ‘deny first’ procedure should see the time taken to deny user’s IT requests cut from over a day to under an hour.
“Our users are very busy people,” said IT department manager Jeremy Bastard.
“They don’t have the time to wait a day, or sometimes even longer, for their IT requests to be denied.
“That denial’s got to happen quickly, immediately if possible. We don’t want a big potential sale to be lost because someone was waiting for IT to deny a request for a new laptop or more memory.”
At the heart of the new process is the innovative new ‘deny first’ protocol.
“Yes, it’s more of a philosophy, really,” continued Mr Bastard.
“The idea is that whenever a new request comes into the IT department, a technician will stop whatever they are doing to deny that request immediately.
“From this point forward, a request denial takes priority over absolutely everything else – it doesn’t matter what fixes you’re working on elsewhere, you drop it for the denial.
“It’s putting the denial of requests back at the heart of this department. Where it belongs.”
It is understood that there was no consideration given to actually approving users’ IT requests.
“Good Lord, no,” chuckled Mr Bastard.
“We’re an IT department; approving users’ IT requests isn’t really what we do.”