Starbucks employees are taking a day off to learn how not to be racist.
Following a slew of incidents where black people were denied access to bathrooms and had the police called on them for being black while sitting down, employees of the coffee giant will have a day of “unconscious bias” training, which hopefully doesn’t involve electrodes in the way it sounds like it definitely does.
“Welcome to unconscious bias training,” said Simon Williams, Head of Unconscious Bias Training for Starbucks.
“Let’s start with a few basic lessons.
“If you ask a black customer for their name, and they reply ‘Thomas’, don’t immediately assume they actually meant ‘T-Bone’ and write that on their cup.
“If a black customer asks you for a black coffee, you shouldn’t put a do-rag on it, unless that’s what the customer has specifically asked for.
“If a black customer asks for a flat white, that is not a black power move on their part. That’s just what they fancy drinking.
“And of course drawing swastikas in the foam is an absolute no-no. I’m looking at you, Darren. You’re lucky we were able to convince that customer it was just a badly drawn maple leaf.
“Now, onto the electrodes…”