Loathsome EU bastards determined to deprive hardworking Brits of dirty air

author avatar by 6 years ago

Meddling eurocrats are seeking to clean the air inside the UK in the latest display of their frightening power.

The European Commission is taking the UK to court over its long-standing failure to meet EU limits for nitrogen dioxide, seemingly without a care for how much the average Brit enjoys a lungful of the stuff.

Every year Britons enjoy millions of tonnes of atmospheric NO₂, a fact which faceless EU officials have determined to be ‘irrelevant’.

Thanks to a plot hatched by Brussels, pollution levels inside the UK will fall dramatically, while Brits who want to continue enjoying breathing in masses airborne particulates will face masses of dirty, foreign red tape.

The EU will also aim to enforce government changes to pollution policy that is linked to 50,000 deaths each year, nonchalantly ignoring the fact that some of those people might want to be dead.

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The Vote Leave campaign says the reduced air pollution will just make it easier for Bulgarian rapists to chase your daughter or wife through the local park, or allow Polish plumbers to work longer hours to steal even more of your jobs.

Vote Leave spokesman, Simon Williams, said, “This insane new law means a Romanian, a Latvian or a Greek can come over here and do whatever they like – where is the deterrent our industries have spent years building in the sky?”

He added, “I get that in the continent they enjoy having clean air, but here in Britain, with our stiff upper lip and strong constitutions, we don’t need that namby-pamby pristine oxygen.

“What’s good for Jacques and Pedro is, unfortunately, a nightmare for Nigel and Colin.”