Morrissey announces two hometown arena racist diatribes with songs

author avatar by 6 years ago

Eighties icon and desperate old bigot Morrissey has announced two racist diatribes with songs to take place at the Castlefield Bowl in July.

The two shows are part of the ‘I’m not racist but…’ in which the Smiths star lives long rambling whinging tirades on how its all different since he was a kid and then sings Girlfriend in a Coma.

Fans can expect some classic Morrissey racist diatribes, such as ‘There are too many blacks,’ ‘some of them can’t even speak English, you know,’ and the classic ‘they come over here and steal our jobs,’ all performed with a vitality and urgency that show, despite his near sixty years, he still has enormous passion for his racism.

Fans were excited about the shows.

“Oh, I’ll certainly be going,” said Simon Williams, a grown man in a big, floppy paisley shirt.

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“I mean, yes, there will be the sort of profound racism on display that I would condemn outright if it came from Jim Davidson or Nigel Farage, but he might do How Soon is Now.

“So that’s worth it.”

The shows will feature support from Katie Hopkins, whoever is leading UKIP that week, and an angry old drunk man with a wet patch on the front of his trousers from a local pub.