Nigel Farage greets peers by saying “Wassup, ma gammon”

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Nigel Farage reckons angry, slightly racist white men need to reclaim the word “gammon”.

Coming to the wildly inaccurate conclusion that the term “gammon” being used to take a pop at a stereotypically racist individual fulfilling that stereotype on Question Time is comparable to use of the word “n*gger” to describe someone black, the former UKIP leader has decided to try and reclaim “gammon”.

“Wassup, ma gammon,” said Farage, greeting a fellow xenophobe in the pub, who didn’t really understand what was happening but went with it anyway.

“I’m sick of these snowflakes, getting all up in my ham.

“Ugh. I can’t keep that up for long. God knows how the coloured people do it.”

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Farage went on to explain his new quest in more detail.

He told reporters, “It’s very simple, if the blacks can take back ‘that word’ then we can take back ‘gammon’ and claim it for ourselves. If we keep using it to describe ourselves, then we take away its power – at least thats’ what I heard a couple of coloured chaps saying.

“We are the Gammons With Attitude. Fuck the thought police and all that and so on.”

Sociologist, Simon Williams, said “Heh heh, yeah, no. That’s…that’s not how it works.

“The N-word has hundreds of years of repression, violence and slavery behind it, and it is used to belittle a minority group that’s often powerless. ‘Gammon’ most definitely, is not.”

Farage countered, “It will represent all of those things if the Muslims have their way! Let a gammon live.”