With the father of Meghan Markle now said to not be attending Saturday, popular TV personalities Ant and Dec have offered to walk the royal bride down the aisle instead.
“It’s a tricky time, so we’d be happy to step in and walk the lovely Megan up the aisle,” said Ant or Dec earlier today.
“We could meet the lass at the church, have a chat to the guests, walk her up the aisle, throw in a couple of cheeky japes, and possibly even bust out a live version of Let’s Get Ready to Rumble for the first dance.”
Royal wedding fans were enthusiastic about the plan to involve the TV duo.
“Oh, yes, I think that would be a super plan,” said Simon Williams, resplendent in a Union Jack suit while sat in the Union Jack wallpapered front room of his Union Jack-bedecked house, and sporting a huge erection.
“I love them on Britain’s Got Talent and they’d definitely brighten up the day with their hilarious cheeky banter.
“Of course, that’s provided Ant doesn’t get all pissed up on Stella from the free bar and drive his car into a lamppost.
“That just wouldn’t be the royal way.”
Meghan has received a number of offers to walk her up the aisle, with DJ Ken Bruce, dictator Recep Erdoğan, and a shirtless man who lives in a bus-stop all in the running.
The current favourite, however, is Sam Allardyce, who is well-known as a steady pair of hands in difficult times.