Marvel at our unelected monarch but don’t forget to hate our unelected Lords, says confused Daily Mail

author avatar by 6 years ago

The front page of the Daily Mail today is once again sending mixed messages to its simple-minded readership.

The front page of the tabloid today features a scathing attack on the ‘traitors in ermine’ in the House of Lords alongside a photo instructing readers to admire the health and wellbeing of a woman who has spent her life being waited on hand and foot.

“I don’t think we’re sending mixed messages at all,” insisting editor in chief of stirring up blind hatred, Simon Williams.

“Those rich, unelected, remoaning bastards in the House of Lords are a bunch of traitors to the public and have no place in our modern society – unless they start agreeing with me and my boss in the very near future, obviously.

“Whereas Her Majesty, despite admittedly being slightly rich and a little bit unelected, is a national treasure.

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“She’s in her nineties you know, and despite no public statements on the matter, we’re pretty sure she supports Brexit wholeheartedly. I mean, statistically speaking she fits the right demographic for a Brexit supporter.

“And look at that lovely, genuine smile of hers. Look at the joy that our separation from the EU is so clearly bringing her – there’s no way that smile could come from years of being in the public spotlight or from the upcoming wedding of a grandson. Long live the Queen!”

He added, “But everyone in the Lords should be hung because they are benefitting from the wrong sort of unelected privilege.

“Hope that has cleared up any confusion.”