Amber Rudd resigns due to all the policies Theresa May implemented

author avatar by 5 years ago

Home Secretary Amber Rudd has resigned after taking responsibility for the policies implemented by Theresa May.

Rudd had come under increasing pressure over the last few days after reporters explained that she was currently in the job that Theresa May was in when she set the wheels in motion that led to the Windrush scandal.

Rudd told reporters, “Sometimes you get to follow someone into a role who has done a brilliant job and who makes you look utterly brilliant for many years, then, other times, you get to follow someone like Theresa.

“I take some comfort from knowing that even if the Pope himself had been appointed Home Secretary after Theresa, her legacy would have left him with no choice but to resign by now – it really was that toxic.

“For the record, I’m not averse to taking flak for Theresa – I stood in for her during the leaders’ election debate after all – but there comes a point when you have to fall on your sword, which is usually just before it’s pushed through your back.

The resignation has surprised many other ministers, with Jeremy Hunt one of the first to speak to reporters.

The Health Secretary said, “Ridiculous. She’s such an amateur – can you imagine resigning from the cabinet just because people think you’re doing a terrible job and are personally responsible for overseeing the sort of shit-show that literally ruins people’s lives?

“God, if that’s all it took the cabinet would be a room full of empty chairs.  No, the Tory way is to stand firm in the face of overwhelming evidence of your incompetence and equivocation.

“What a noob.”