‘I’m not on Facebook’ the new ‘I’m a vegan’

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A man who has ‘deleted’ his Facebook account seems to be under the impression that everyone is interested in that fact.

Simon Williams, 35, claims he was disgusted by the awful way Facebook has treated his personal information, and as such has decided to leave the platform in as loud a manner as possible.

He told us, “I’m telling everyone I meet that I’ve left Facebook, even the postman, but very few people seem that interested. What I really need is a good way to get the message out, to a lot of the people I know, and very quickly.

“It’s been hard, because the obvious place to tell everyone you’ve left Facebook, is on Facebook. But you can’t use Facebook to announce you’ve left Facebook.

“I did the whole ‘I’m leaving Facebook’ before I left Facebook, but I can’t check how many people have seen or commented because I’ve now left Facebook.”

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Facebook are said to be ‘unconcerned’ by the threat of users leaving the platform, explaining the risk was ‘very low’.

When told of Williams leaving Facebook, the social network’s executive in charge of retention, Chuck Matthews, told us, “We love that he’s ‘deleted’ his account, that’s just so cute.

“I get that it’s kinda trendy to not be on Facebook today, so more power to them. But it’s actually kind of funny that he genuinely thinks this means all his information is no longer on our servers.

“Trust me, every last thing he’s ever done on our network is all there waiting for him whenever he wants to reactivate this account.

“And he will. They always do.”