Response to Salisbury poisoning should be opposite of whatever Tories want, demands Corbyn

author avatar by 6 years ago

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has stated that however Theresa May chooses to respond to the Russian poisoning attack in Salisbury will be wrong because she is an awful Tory and therefore the British response should actually be the complete opposite of her plan.

Mr Corbyn made the statement after Prime Minister Theresa May announced the expulsion of 23 diplomats.

“I think that the important thing with regard to this situation,” said Mr Corbyn “Is that I am seen to oppose the Government, regardless of the action they take, and as they are proposing the expulsion of diplomats, then I suggest we should respond by being really quite nice to Russia and possibly buying them a little present.”

Mr Corbyn was adamant that in this diplomatic crisis, it was vital to remember that the Tory government is awful, and it was important to use the deployment of a nerve agent on British soil to remind everyone that he’s best.

“I would also invest more in the NHS and nationalise the railways,” he continued.

He then went on to claim that the poisoning probably wasn’t Russia anyway and was, actually, the result of twenty years of neo-liberal capitalism and it was all Tony Blair’s fault.