Jeremy Corbyn elected leader of UKIP

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After a barnstorming speech outlining the benefits of leaving the single market and having fewer immigrants, Jeremy Corbyn has been unanimously voted in a leader of the UK Independence Party.

UKIP have struggled to find a leader for more than 72 hours in recent years and they hope the appointment will reinvigorate their party, with Corbyn bringing his vocal activist base with him.

Corbyn, who made the speech in Scotland on Friday, was greeted with open arms by the party who said they were delighted to find someone whose policies so matched their own aims.

“We’ve been looking for someone to pull us out of the single market and to stop all these immigrants coming over here and taking all our jobs and girlfriends, and with his speech, Jeremy made it totally clear he’s a perfect match for the job.

“Him hanging out on anti-seminitc Facebook groups as well was just the icing on the cake as far as we’re concerned.”

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A small faction within the party had suggested Corbyn wasn’t right for the job due to his previous relationship with Diane Abbott, but they relented after being reminded that the blessed St Nigel of Dulwich College had gone out with both French and Germans before now, but that didn’t stop him when it counted.