Short man massively overcompensating at the gym

author avatar by 6 years ago

A shorter-than-average man appears to be compensating for something in the effort of his workouts, we can confirm today.

Simon Williams, who insists that five foot six is perfectly normal and won’t listen to anyone saying otherwise, is understood to throw himself into his workout regime with a determination which some would interpret as displacement behaviour.

Simon, who trains daily and posts to Facebook about goals and micronutrients all the time, also uploads photos of himself at the gym almost every day, but always taken from a flattering angle and never standing next to anyone else.

Fellow gym-goers say he also makes a lot of really loud grunting noises and often cries out whilst lifting, so everyone notices just how hard he’s working.

“You can’t fault Simon for how hard he works at perfecting every single limited inch of his body,” a friend of Simon’s told us.

“And you have to give him credit for sometimes getting the gym equipment off a very high shelf, which must be a challenge as well.

“Obviously lifting things over his head can’t be as difficult for him as it is for the rest of us, as there’s a lot less distance for it to go, but he always ensures his shoulder press form is perfect every time, no matter what.

“We also just love the charming way he talks about ‘Getting big’, like going to the gym is the same as buying some magic beans from a stranger or something.

“Everyone knows, Simon. Everyone knows.”