President Bone Spurs gives lecture about bravery

author avatar by 5 years ago

A man who got himself five military deferments to avoid getting shot at has criticised people who won’t run towards gunfire today.

Donald Trump, who suffered from ‘temporary bone spurs’ – an affliction which does not exist – to avoid military service, made a speech in which he criticised people who won’t drop everything and head towards automatic gunfire.

The President made the speech after learning that a good guy with a gun had been on the scene at a recent school-shooting, and had not acted to stop a bad guy with a gun like the pathetic fantasists who love their own guns more than they love other people’s children claim would happen.

“The thing about bone spurs is they require an operation to remove,” said medical expert Dr Simon Williams.

“They don’t just come and then go again as they please. They actually need to admit you to the hospital, cut you open, and then chop them off.

“And they especially don’t just suddenly appear and disappear at a time that that coincides beautifully with the threat of military service.

Williams went on, “Nobody can say with certainty how they will act in moments when mortal danger presents itself, until that moment arises.

“And the security guard from that school will live with that knowledge of himself – and its consequences – for the rest of his life.

“And so, frankly, will the President. He talks a big game, but given the chance to run towards danger for the sake of others, he knows what he did. And so does everyone else.”