SMÅLAND, SWEDEN – The Funeral for Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of the Swedish Furniture store IKEA has been postponed due to issues assembling his coffin.
A statement from the family announced that the funeral will proceed as soon as they locate an appropriately sized Allen key.
Always a company man, Kamprad wanted to be buried in one of his company’s best-selling products, although the IKEA casket – which is now available for pre-order – is said to be the cause of the delay.
A person close to the family has said the construction issues are causing a rift between the deceased’s offspring, with his two sons currently arguing over which is the left-hand casket wall, and whether they have it upside down.
The family has tried following the assembly instructions but has found that repeatedly screaming at each other is far more effective and therapeutic.
Kamprad’s wife has said if they can’t get the casket done by tomorrow, the plan is to “duct taping the bloody thing together”.
“We’ll just throwing the remaining pieces into the casket and bury it as it is,” she added.
Ikea, widely known for selling Rubik’s cubes disguised as furniture, insists that the casket will be a “big seller in 2018” along with the IKEA Urn and IKEA Tombstone. Ingvar Kamprad was 91.