‘Fake News’ stories are harming society says man claiming personal relationship with magical super-being

author avatar by 6 years ago

The Pope has said that Fake News is harming society while insisting the stories of his omnipotent superbeing all remain entirely true.

The pontiff described fake news as being like the serpent in the garden of Eden, a story that definitely happened and represents an entirely factual account of human history.

He went on to explain, with a straight face, that spreading fake news can have ‘dire consequences’ such as people making life and death decisions based on something that isn’t real.

The fake news criticism has been welcomed by many followers of the Catholic faith, each of whom has no reason to doubt the word of the Pope.

Catholic Carol Matthews told us, “The Pope is God’s representative on Earth, and he is infallible, so if he says night is day, then nights is day. That’s how it works, and no, I don’t see what that has to do with his right to comment when it comes to dealing with fake news.”

Non-religious person Simon Williams told us, “I welcome any attempts to educate people about fake news, but the Pope has as much authority on this subject as Donald Trump.

“Explain to me how a Macedonian teenager writing stories on a fake news website about Donald Trump having superhuman cognitive abilities is in any way different to the Bible telling us Jesus could walk on water. Or that he used a single loaf of bread to feed five-thousand people.

“And that’s before any of the other ‘burning bush that also talks’ stuff.  Seriously, if you want to learn about the power of fake news, read a Bible.”