I’m not bald, it’s just a number one all over, claims Prince William

author avatar by 5 years ago

The population of Great Britain awoke this morning convinced that Prince William could grow a full head of hair if he wanted to, according to reports.

Photos splashed across the front pages of a number of newspapers this morning revealed the second in line to the throne to shaved his head down to a ‘number one’ all over, thereby reassuring citizens that he is not, in fact, bald anymore.

Royal family enthusiast Eleanor Gay was delighted at the sight of the shaven Prince, telling us, “Well, well, well – just look at that haircut. And there I was thinking he was losing his hair faster than he was popping out further children for us to support.

“But now that he’s got a buzzcut all over, well, he seems instantly younger, more virile, and totally capable of growing a full head of hair that would make Samson jealous, if he decided to do so, obviously.

“This new look is exactly the kind of strong, tough image our beloved royals need to project.

“God shave the King, that’s all I say, geddit?”

Genuine grade-one-all-over Simon Williams from Wokingham responded, “If he’s that concerned about hiding his baldness he needs to completely shave off the monk hair around the sides and back of his head. That’s always the giveaway.

“Either that or just give in and get some sort of toupé.

“Still, I suppose he’s made an effort to conceal his baldness, rather that brush, scrape and mould it all in different directions like certain presidents I could mention.”