Cannabis a gateway drug to Pringles, health experts warn

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Smokers of cannabis are laying themselves open to the risk of experimenting with Pringles, according to health experts today.

Users of the drug are often exploited by sellers of hard snacks and takeaway delivery companies, according to a new report which recommends stiffer sentences for anyone possessing Haribo with intent to supply.

“We’ve known for a long time that ‘gateway drugs’ exist,” said author Professor Simon Williams of the Department of Oooh I’ve Got the Munchies studies at Barnsley Institute of Technology.

“By being tricked by health and wellness companies into taking what seems like a harmless drug such as marijuana, users are much more likely to start using Dominos, KFC and Cheddar and Sour Cream Pringles.

“The dangers of this cannot be overstated. You can get these harmful snacks on pretty much any street corner if you ask at the right window, someone will always be able to point you in the right direction if you really want them.

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“And for the more technology-minded users, if they download the right apps off the Internet, it’s possible to get some people to deliver them right to your door.

“It’s vital that we protect people’s health by making safer alternatives to Pringles available on the NHS for people trying to stop.

“Things like carrots or maybe a homemade quintuple-decker sandwich like Scooby-Doo eats in the cartoons.”

When asked if smoking weed made users more likely to try other drugs, Profession Williams said, “Why would they do that? They’re so monged and hungry they can barely use the Just Eat app, never mind find a dealer.”