by 
Liverpool are planning to spend 70% of the money they received from Barcelona for Philippe Coutinho panic-buying Andy Carroll again.
The Reds, who have not won the top division since 1991, originally bought the striker in 2011, after receiving £50m from Chelsea for Fernando Torres and being in a situation where they literally had no-one to buy as a replacement.
Football expert Simon Williams, said, “The situation appears to have recurred, with Liverpool – who have not won the top division since 1991 – once again facing the situation of having a lot of money and there not being anyone good enough to buy.
“It’s clear that in this situation, the only thing Liverpool – who have not won the top division since 1991 – can really do, is re-purchase the rarely-appearing West Ham striker, Andy Carroll.
“You’ve got to remember that back in 2011, £35m was an absolute fuckload of money for someone who barely plays and isn’t that good. But, nowadays, well, £35m is still a fuckload of money for someone who barely plays and isn’t even as good as you didn’t think he was seven years ago, so you might as well pay three times that for him.
“Still, who else are they going to buy? Ian Rush?
“Actually, they could buy Ian Rush. He’d be better.”
