Subject of Police’s ‘Every Little Thing She Does is Magic’ arrested for witchcraft

author avatar by 6 years ago

Top copulating show-off Sting was said to be disappointed by the news that the subject of his 1981 hit Every Little Thing She Does is Magic has been arrested for being a witch.

Whilst he has long claimed the song is a simple paean to a beautiful girl, many have suspected that he was, at the time, in thrall to a terrible witch and the song is a dark celebration of her evil powers.

“We can confirm that we have taken a 72-year-old woman into custody on suspicion of diabolical witchery,” said a senior officer in the Metropolitan police.

“We have strong evidence to suggest that every little thing she does is magic and specific details of her causing a thousand rainy days and then conjuring some sort of terrifying giant umbrella.”

The offence of witchcraft has been re-established along with blue passports and the crown symbol on pint glasses in the wake of Brexit because those are the issues that DEFINITELY matter.

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It is expected that further arrests will soon be made in cases of witchcraft against the subjects of Queen’s A Kind of Magic, Take That’s Could it be Magic and everyone who ever went on The Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour.