Father Christmas has chosen the blue-nosed reindeer, gone back to bed and believed whatever he wants to believe.
Offered the choice by a mysterious bald-headed stranger who appeared to know all about him, Santa was told that he could choose the red-nosed reindeer and see the truth behind this foggy Christmas Eve.
Or he could take the blue-nosed reindeer and his story would end.
To the obvious surprise of the stranger, Santa picked the blue-nosed reindeer and fucked off back to bed with a jolly thumbs up and a cry of ‘Ho ho ho’.
“All I was offering was the truth, nothing more,” the stranger told us.
“The truth that his entire reality was a construct, a lie built out of a song about flying reindeer and an outcast whose special abilities are only evident at the time of greatest need.
“If he’d taken the red-nosed reindeer, he would have stayed awake, flown through the fog and delivered magical presents to the world.
“Can’t win ’em all, I guess. Sorry kids.
“What if I told you”, he added in ponderous and portentous tones, “that Father Christmas isn’t real?”