Explosion from Christmas cracker ‘definitely Islamist terror-incident’, insists Katie Hopkins

author avatar by 5 years ago

An innocent work’s pre-Christmas meal has fallen prey to radical jihadists according to respected journalist Katie Hopkins.

A sudden bang that resulted from two ends of a festive cracker being pulled in opposite directions, during Reading-based NTL Solutions work’s meal, is just the latest attempt to bludgeon us into accepting a Sharia-style state, despite no reports of injuries, said the surefire Pulitzer nominee.

Hopkins tweeted, “Not only are the police treating this as a terrorist incident, it looks like they could expect more.

“Rumours suggest a pipe bomb disguised as a Christmas cracker. Pray for Reading.”

Hopkins was also said to be ‘alarmed’ by reports of a man brandishing a large knife in front of seated guests, which was then used to cut into innocent tender flesh that had earlier been murdered.

In a further series of inflammatory tweets, the staunch defender of Christian values cautioned Berkshire-bound tourists.

She tweeted, “Right now, Reading is just not worth the risk. Stay clear and stay safe everyone. Xx.”

However, NTL employee, Simon Williams, said, “I’m sorry if the bang from the Christmas cracker alarmed certain individuals. NTL is a multi-faith firm and I merely wanted to share a little festive spirit with my co-worker Mohammed.”

He added, “The meal was sadly ruined when Tommy Robinson turned up during the figgy pudding with around fifty shaven-headed patriots and a camcorder desperate to interview anyone angry enough to blame the Muslims.

“Worse still, none of them had reserved a table.

“That – and the sprouts were overcooked.”