UK agrees to do as it’s told

author avatar by 7 years ago

Reports are emerging from Brussels that the UK has agreed to do as it’s told, paving the way to future talks on the EU-UK relationship.

The UK will do as it’s told with regard to the so-called divorce bill, the Northern Island border, and the future of EU citizens in the UK.

“The UK pretending that it had some sort of choice in this matter was always really rather cute,” said Claude Juncker in a prepared statement.

“But we are delighted that they have finally agreed to stop arsing around with all that pointless posturing and do as they’re told so we can now move on to the next stage of negotiations.

“We will now spend several months telling the UK what trade agreements they can have.

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“Naturally we expect the British press to indulge in foolish fantasies of the UK dictating terms to 27 other countries, but we hope this won’t hinder talks, and that in the fullness of time, the UK happily takes what it’s given and says ‘Thank you Mr European Union’ like a good little country.”

UK Brexit minister David Davis was pleased with the outcome.

“I think we can be incredibly pleased with the how long we held out before completely capitulating to the EU demands,” he said.

“If it had been the French leaving, they’d have caved in days.”

The UK can now look forward to many years of being told what to do by the EU without any input into the decision whatsoever.

They do have much, much more sovereignty though.

So that’s good.

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