Putin announces he will win election next year to continue joint Presidency of Russia and USA

author avatar by 6 years ago

Vladimir Putin has announced his intention to successfully run for Russian President again next year, as he is having such a blast with running two countries at the same time.

When he successfully wins the Russian Presidential election next year, which will undoubtedly be decided in a completely fair and square, above-board manner, Putin will have held power over Russia for nearly as long as the equally democrat leader Joseph Stalin.

In a rare appearance actually wearing a shirt, Vladimir Putin addressed reporters yesterday saying, “I appear to be riding a wave of popularity, which of course is nothing to do with Russian state TV pledging me their full support under the threat of instant death.

“It is clear that the Russians – and those Ukrainians who live in the bit we invaded – absolutely love me, and personally I am enjoying running Russia and also the US via my whipping boy Donnie. Life is better for Russians and American with me at the helm, and long may it continue.”

Russian political commentator Sergei Williamanov explained, “It is not surprising that Putin wants to win, and let’s face it will win, a fourth presidency.

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“He loves the power he yields over both countries, and he’s only just getting started. Look at how he has got Trump to stir things up by recognising Jerusalem as Israel’s capital, which will hopefully unsettle the Middle-East and bring more power to Russia.

“And he also wants another shot at being able to win the title ‘Sexiest balding president to ride a horse topless’ for another year, too.”